Dirt Quake USA

In 2012 Sideburn Magazine dreamt up a crazy idea to bring a variety riders together for dirty competition- from professionals to novices, everyone (and all types of bikes) were welcome on the dirt track. The original Dirt Quake event took place in Coventry, Canada.

This year Sideburn and See See Motorcycles teamed up to bring Dirt Quake to the USA… specifically the Pacific Northwest about an hour outside of Portland. I can’t think of a better place to host it, either. A plethora of bikes and folks made it out- from serious racers to costumed jokesters, well prepped dirt bikes to overweight baggers… everyone had a blast on the dirt track.

Can’t help but love a giant Teletubby riding a chopper with a suicide shifter around a dirt track. There was even a ladies only class (as well as an inappropriate street bike class)!

Because I sadly wasn’t able to make it back up to my home town for the event, I asked the lovely Barbara Fuentes for some assistance in sharing the mayhem and glory with you all. Here’s what she had to say.

“The day started off pretty grey and cool. The pit area was bustling with people giving their bikes their final prep. Stormie was playing superman- kicking ass like usual- helping other motorcyclists with last minute fixings. Racers started lining up for their initial run through and the crowd found their seats. The grey started burning off and revealed a beautiful day for the bikes. The ground was watered and re-flattened after the trials and we were ready to begin.

“The amount of bikes, costumes, and riders was impressive. There was a range of totally geared up people- to people with no gloves or jackets.

“There was definitely a lot of thought that went into some of the costumes (Teletubby, Lizard, Frog, Monkey, Mexican, and Scuba themed).

“The first of the races started with the ladies – I was so happy to see so many women being part of this. My friend Katie Morton represented the Scooter ladies by riding her ‘79 Vespa P200E.

(Jenny Czinder aka hookersandpopcorn rides her DT in a gorilla suit with sparkly heart nipple pasties.)

“The other categories were Chopper, Inappropriate Road Bike, and Street Tracker.

(Quentin Wilson mans the TerraCorsa Ducati Panigale ‘offroad bike’ for the Innappropriate Street Bike round.)

(Bill D. rides his chopper, no f**ks to give.)

“Bixby Moto was there with the tiny bike and sidecar- the rider was both monkey and pilot. He was really good. If he had been on a bigger bike he would have killed it.

“There was also a bonus round of ‘Snowmobile’ entries. Those guys really had to throw their weight around to get around the track.

There was a huge Harley that raced too- what a beast.

“Overall it was incredibly fun. Everyone seemed to have such great spirit, and even if it was about placing first, it seemed like having a good time was on the forefront.

“There were a few bikes that didn’t quite make it- died at one point or another on the track. Two spills. One was Bill D. who took a spill on his chopper (both are ok). The other was Cretin Sam – who ended up with a few broken bones. That was a scary spill- looked like he lost consciousness for a bit. Ambulance had to come out and everything.

“Then my favourite— the Dirt Bikes came out. This seemed like the most even playing field and you could really see a lot of talent in riding shining through. It seemed like they were all neck and neck— edge of your seat type stuff. (And I’m not even partial towards dirtbikes or anything- it was just really cool!)

“The two stroke air, all the brapping motorcycles… it was a loud good time. Super diverse crowd- kids (there was a kid on a dirtbike that went out during ‘open track’ it was adorable), grandmas, families, hooligans, et al.”